Dear Bilingual People...

Dear Bilingual People,

So you're all chatting away a mile a minute and I'm practicing my listening skills trying to keep up, learning how people my age use Japanese in real life. Then you ask how much I understand and to ask anytime I want translations. And when I say I get about 50% you say, "That's great!" and go on totally ignoring me.

You know what would be great? If instead of asking if I need translations and just pointing out how totally out of place I am (as if I'm going to derail your conversation every time I don't understand a word--if I'm too shy to open my mouth, am I really going to speak up over all of you???), try asking for my opinion on something LIKE I'M A FUCKING HUMAN BEING.

Ask in Japanese. Ask in English. If I don't understand the Japanese, repeat in English, but feel free to keep using Japanese next time because YOU NEVER KNOW. I might actually get something.

I know you've all known each other since forever and this might be your only chance in the week to hang out. And you're all super-confident in both languages because you either have lived in Japan longer than five years or you have Japanese parents.

And that's fine. I'm not hindering you in any way by hovering at the edge of your club, stumbling and crawling towards a higher level of language proficiency. You don't have to repeat everything in English. Hell, you don't have to repeat twenty percent in English.

Actually, you know what? I'm fine if you NEVER USE ENGLISH AT ALL. (Even though it's either your native language or you speak it much better than I speak Japanese.)

JUST MAKE EYE CONTACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ACT LIKE I'M THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ASK ME A QUESTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've only been studying a year and a half, and my confidence is very low. There's no way I'm going to jump into your conversation unless I suddenly start screaming at the top of my lungs. And you don't want that.

You can try to keep your little buddy-buddy club, but sucks to be you because I'm not going away. This is one of my only chances too to speak with people who know both English and Japanese. And you won't be making any new friends soon if you never talk to new people.

It's my right to attend the church I want and to talk to the people who go there. And if you want to be snobs, then you've chosen a pretty damn ironic place to do it.

But you know what? Thank you. Really, thank you. Because next time I have a friend who doesn't know so much English, before I jump in with specious offers of translation, I'm going to treat them with some decency and ask them a question about the topic. You've done such a good job being assholes, I now have a better idea how not to be one.

Rant over.