So, do you ever hear someone talking about a book/movie/comic project, and you just think, "Oh, this is gonna suuuuuuuck," way before you even see it? And then it does suck? Or you read a book and think, "Hm, something about that just ticked me off." And then you read about the author and realize, "Yes! You are exactly the kind of person who annoys me!"
Or maybe it's just me.
Anyway, I compiled a semi-complete list of phrases, which, if I ever heard them describing a piece of art, I would approach that work with a healthy amount of skepticism. Note: These are not limited to Christian authors, though Christianese can be a primary offender.
Okay, here's the rundown. (In no particular order.)
I want to do something no one's ever done before.
Nope, not gonna happen. Hint: try doing something people have done before, but in your own way. It's called "living."
I want to be the next... (C.S. Lewis, Tolkien, You Name It)
As one of my professor's put it, even C.S. Lewis didn't want to be the next C.S. Lewis. Really, when does trying to be another person ever work?
I want to revitalize the genre.
What does this even mean?
I want to tell a great story that will impact larger audiences for Christ.
Setting yourself up for failure here...
Since the dawn of time, stories have been the primary way we define ourselves as humans...
I can't trust the writing ability of anyone who uses this phrase to begin a sentence. Also, anyone who claims to know exactly what it means to be human has ego issues.
I believe I'm called to....
Nope, nope, nope...
Every writer requires three things: Passion, Purpose, and Plan. And if you have those....
Actually, all writers are different. There's no one method that works. Being open minded is a good start, though. And the alliteration. Stop.
People could believe these Truths so much more easily if encountering them through the medium of story.
You know what I smell? An AGENDA! This ain't writing. It's advertizing.
And now, a few good reasons... (among many others)
How come you never see...?
What would happen if...?
There should be a story about...
I could do that better.
I was on the train and a character floated into my head.
(If you're J.K. Rowling)
I wrote a random sentence and decided it was the first line of a book.
(If you're Tolkien)
Overall, talking about writing around other English majors can feel like you're in a room full of pickup artists but all you're looking for is friendship. Everyone else is out to score points and make a splash, but you're searching for a connection you can't even really define because it's different each time.
In short, I can't stand any description of writing that takes the emphasis away from the text itself and what the text is conveying. I guess in the list of motives, what stands out to me is that the first set focuses on the author and the author's goals, while the second set have to lead into something concrete. Actually, most of them can't be finished or made specific because you have to insert what the story is actually about.
On another topic, I quickly grow bored when authors explain their work by trotting out a lot of complicated symbols and lofty goals. Not that those are bad things. But if I can't connect to the story as a story, I don't care much about the impact it's supposed to be having on society.
On the other hand, authors I really like are the ones who talk about their work in great simplicity, but great detail. It's like they actually believe on some level that this world and these people exist. Like when Flannery O'Connor (who does also use a lot of symbolism and complicated themes) describes the unusual way she wrote "Good Country People" and how sometimes she didn't know what her characters would do until they did it.
Which sounds like a lot more fun than revitalizing the genre.
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