Work, work...

So this week was the week of busy work. Someone in the higher ups decided to do a study on common Japanese phrases used in blog comments, so that set us up copying and pasting comment sections into an excel file. A LOT of comments.

Which I don't actually mind. I had a few other things to work on, and if things got too dull I popped my headphones in and listened to Youtube while I was typing. Which is totes fine.

But I also had to watch my coworkers gradually disintegrate, which struck a fine line between almost funny and god-awful annoying.

First point: Yawning. I don't know who decided that sneezing is rude in crowded spaces but yawning isn't annoying at all. Personally, unless someone's sneezing right on me, I barely notice it. People can't help it if they have allergies.

But yawning. I don't know; it just rubs me the wrong way. Maybe because my jaw's messed up and it's painful for me to open it that wide as I see other people doing. Maybe because I struggle with fatigue and insomnia so I resent the constant reminder that I am also tired. Maybe it's just the weird little mannerisms that go along with it, like that little shiver people do afterward or the bug-eyed blink. (It's not overanalyzing; I've unwillingly collected a ton of data.)

Probably the worst is that everyone pretends they can't help it. Bullshit. Yawning with a wide-open gaping mouth is like yelling HAKUSHON every time you sneeze. I always try to keep my most at least mostly closed if I'm in the room with other people, and to make no noise. In fact, you take a breath with your mouth closed all the time. It's called BREATHING. Don't tell me you forgot how to do it.

And then, there's nothing you can say when someone yawns. Even if they do it while you're talking to them. If people sneeze, you've got free reign to let out passive-aggressive "Bless you," every fucking time until they finally retreat to the bathroom every time their nose itches. But there's no code of polite phrases when to use when people start gaping like you're the most boring thing they've ever seen. How about,

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did you stay up until three am watching Youtube, or am I just beneath your attention right now?"

Sometimes I wonder what hellish schedules my coworkers must have to keep up this concert all day long. (Literally. There is no peak time like early morning. It's just there.) But then I also want to shake them and yell, "Get some sleep at night, Damnit! Not at the office!"

OK. Second annoying thing.

So the performance art of tiredness continues from both my coworkers on the right and left sides. However, the coworker on the left has come up with another strategy to relieve the tedium of sitting at a desk all day. She dances.

Literally. At her desk. In a big office of Japanese workers who already think Americans are strange.

It started out slowly with relatively controlled stretches around the neck and shoulder areas. Which I get and sometimes indulge in myself because my shoulders are also going numb from typing all day. (Though again, I'm not particularly keen on reminders of this.)

However, this week it escalated until I caught her for a good few minutes holding her arms out in front of her, eyes closed, doing these bizarre contortions with her entire upper body. It wouldn't have been out of place on a club dance floor. At least it would have been merely awkward. But at your desk??????

This coworker has confided me that she often does exercises in the privacy of the stairwell. I want to tell her, "Please, by all means, go do cardio on the stairs! But I cannot work with you constantly gyrating at the edge of my peripheral vision! I can't take it anymore!"

Then this afternoon she developed an acute case of restless leg syndrome....

It's definitely busywork. If we were engaged, no one could focus on how many hours of Youtube they watched or how long they were sitting in a chair. And I wouldn't notice how annoying my coworkers are. I wonder what they think about me....