Homeschooling

So lately I've been reading a blog by an Atheist writer. Obviously we have some theological differences, but I had to laugh when I came across a series of posts on homeschooling. Because it's just so true!

Here's one on socialization.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2013/03/homeschooling-socialization-and-me.html


The thing homeschoolers grow up in their own little world and there will always be that disconnect of never quite knowing how to relate to other people. Which even the parents of homeschoolers can't be expected to get because they grew up going to school and dealing with people all the time. No wonder homeschoolers seem to speak their own language...

One thing that was definitely true for me growing up was that I could never conceive of myself apart from my family. This sounds totally stupid now. But even as a teenager I was never quite sure I would continue existing if left to my own devices apart from anyone sharing my last name.

I used to be terrified to do simple things for myself like call a friend on the phone or buy something at a shop or restaurant. I must have been junior high  before I could really get comfortable with money. Who knows what I was afraid of. Screwing it up? How incompetent do you have to be to mess up buying a keychain?

Several memories as a teenager... I was 15 when my family took a trip to Yosemite. I remember splitting up from them for a few hours because I was tired and wanted to go to the gift shop and then read in the hotel room. Everyone was fine with that and my mom explained how to get back to the hotel. (Sadly necessary because I wasn't used to reading maps on my own.) It wasn't a huge deal, but it was a trippy experience. It felt so weird to be in charge of my own schedule and of getting myself from one place to another successfully. And that was just like two hours...

A really good experience from high school was when I went to Worldview Academy. We learned interesting stuff, the people were nice, and it really helped me be independent. I was nearly 17 and before that I could never imagine going away to camp on my own. (I didn't even go to AWANA camp.) My parents encouraged me, and I really wanted to go even though I had no faith in myself.

But lo and behold! I could figure out where all the events were and keep my schedule straight and even talk to people! No one was showing me what to do, but somehow I did it! After my mom left, somehow the world kept going just as it always had. This was a big revelation to teenage me. Ever since that camp, I've been working up to more and more independence.

For someone like my mom, who homeschooled me, being so timid must be unthinkable. She went to boarding school in junior high and never relied on her family to such an extent. Also, our personalities are totally different. She's a take-charge person and I'm a worrier.

So I think if she knew how  paralyzed I was by fear, she would say, "What the @$#*&???? You're one of the most competent people I know--what the &%$#^&* are you afraid of????" And I would be like, "Um, I dunno? Life?"

This is probably why nearly 10 years after high school I'm living apart from all my family in a non-English speaking country. And I'm still a total scaredy cat. I worry about everything. My life is ridiculously simple. I live in a sharehouse and my office is literally five minutes by foot. I don't have a car or even a bicycle. The first year I lived here I barely traveled. I'm just learning now how to do things like go to a clinic when I'm sick.

But if I lived in my home state now it would be too easy to surrender control of everything in my life back to my parents and be too scared to live as an adult. Slowly, I'm growing stronger, for myself and for others. I've always been a late-bloomer and looked younger than my age. But in the end if I go at my own pace I can get there.