7 Ways to Title Your Blog Post

Want to write something for your personal blog but are stuck on the title? Use these time-honored ways to clue your readers in as to what will come next.

1. In Which...

Followed by a sentence. The goofier the sentence, the more it contrasts with the Victorianesque tone and therefore the greater humor. Best for recent life events but fine for discussions too. ("In which I discuss...")

2. An Open Letter to...

To someone who would never give me the time of day in real life so I have to blast them through cyberspace where everyone else can see. This is the equivalent of Marnie writing "Why do I even bother, she'll never read this," in the infamous Thanksgiving email.

3. ...A Response

Someone else said something stupid on the internet, but it's technically my area of expertise so I've got to mention it or people will go nuts in the comments section. Sections of text will be quoted, but you only have to read the bold parts. The general tone should be, "Here are the big obvious important issues you missed when writing your original post."

4. Why I...

People have been giving me flak about this thing since forever so once and for all I HAVE A GOOD REASON. Now leave me alone.

5. When...

Followed by sentence describing a current issue in the most click-baity terms possible. If the rest of the sentence couldn't be in a movie trailer after the words "In A World" then it needs to be more dramatic.

6. Is...? (any yes/no question)

If you don't know the answer to the question without reading the actual post, then...No, actually there is never a situation when you don't have at least an inkling of how this will go down. Even if you've never read the blog before.

7. Two to Three Apparently Random Words

But the secret is they're all actually related! Muwhahahaha! But you have to do it in a certain order. Word #1 is be a current event or famous person. #2 must be a catchphrase of some kind. #3 will either be "me" or a gerund.

But the real question is, what on earth should I call this post? Here are my ideas:

In Which I Blog About Blogging
An Open Letter To My Fellow Bloggers
Everyone Else's Blog Titles: A response
Why I Can Never Think of an Original Title
When All Blogs Are Equal
Are We Running Out of Blog Post Titles?
The Blogosphere, "Genre," and Me

Wait!!!!!!

I forgot the classic "X Ways To Do Something!" Now I'll have to start all over again...