Having an Elsa Moment

Maybe a month ago I was flipping through sermon notes from last year. My sermon notes resemble the ramblings of Mystery Science Theater 3000. And I came across this quote that I heard in a sermon.

"God hates sin so much that he saw my sin on his son and he killed his son."

Then my face did this.

Even a year ago, I thought that was pretty stupid. Now it's just another thought that crystallizes like an icy blast.

I still go to church events because I know some sweet, genuine Christians. But there's a certain kind of arrogance that I would have accepted unquestioningly in college--and that's what I'm never going back to.

Things about being in your 20s....

Every year since my late teens, I've found new wrinkles. First it was my eyelids, because I started using eyeshadow and had no idea how to apply it gently or wash it off properly.

Yeah....I can't believe how lax I was about washing my face in college. I didn't even know there were special soaps for removing makeup. No one ever freakin' told me, so I kept wondering why hot water wasn't doing it. Seriously, are girl things like some Mason's Guild-esque secret???? I think the rule is as soon as you find out something girly, you have to pretend you knew it all along. Or admit you didn't in a voice that says, "Silly me! I can't believe I didn't shave my arms until last year. What a cavewoman, amirite?"

Anyway, first it was the eyelids. Then...probably either the lines on my wrists (I have extremely bony hands and thin wrists) and on my forehead. That was all during college.

Then last year I got a desk job and lines appeared UNDER my eyes because I was using a computer all day. Wearing PC glasses did not make them disappear.

This year it's smile lines!!!!!!!!

And seriously, they are the WORST. They're always just waiting at the corners of your mouth, ready to spring into action the next time you find something funny, making you look sad and pouty until they fade again. Why did they appear? Probably genetics. I've been getting new wrinkles for the last five years, and I'm sure the crows feet will be next. Also there's not much fat on my face and I haven't been moisturizing worth shit.

I realize it's inevitable and even really young-looking people have flaws, but seeing laugh lines on my face was a moment of panic. I kept thinking Quinn Morgendorfer-style "My laugh lines are cute, my laugh lines are tiny, I DO NOT HAVE LAUGH LINES!"

But I had to face reality. And I resolved that even though I was stuck with signs of aging, I would not go gentle into that good night, and have consequently fortified myself with a wide variety of skin care products to postpone the inevitable. I may do another post about just how many different goops you can buy for skin in Japan. (Some over $100 dollars.)

The lines are still there, but as soon as I started moisturizing my skin looked a lot happier. Lines I thought I couldn't do anything about suddenly got much less noticeable. Actually, I barely use concealer now because it always looked gloppy and didn't cover up dark circles anyway, and only made the lines more obvious. Huh. Moisturizer clears that up before I even put any base makeup on.

My goal is that even if I'm doomed to be lined by thirty, at least I can do my best to have soft, clear skin.

It's been a long time...

I've been either coding or memorizing Japanese in almost every spare moment, so haven't had as much time for blogging recently.

The most interesting thing I've done this month is do some modeling for a friend to show off a dress she designed. I'm supposed to be a lost doll looking for my owner, or so the story goes. This was my first experience modeling, so I can see why people say it's a lot of work. No kidding!

Yes, technically it's all other people doing your hair and makeup and deciding how you should pose. But sitting still for an hour while someone else does stuff to your face (which you obviously can't see), and puts fake eyelashes on you--not easy!

And then when you're posing you have to stand one way for 10 seconds, and then look the other way, and never move too fast because it will mess up the photos. And have the right expression. It gets tiring. Not to mention I was outside in November in a flimsy doll dress and pumps. Between all the shots I was huddled into my jacket.

Not to mention I dripped hot wax on my leg and couldn't get it out of my tights.

We also got harassed by a bunch of drunk Japanese guys who thought it was totally okay just to stand around and watch and shout encouragement to us. It's hard enough pose right without a group of strangers treating you like you're some animal in a zoo.

However, I like trying something weird and new and I'm interested to see how the pictures turned out. The goth makeup isn't really my thing (it doesn't even match the dress imo) but I think they'll look really otherwordly.

Programming--No Syntax Errors!

Yesterday I tried to write my own program and it ran the first time I tried it with no syntax errors! This is a with any program I've tried, even when I'm following directions. Of course, the program still didn't do what I wanted...

This week's topic was functions and I don't understand them that well so on Saturday I tried making my own program that included a function. A very simple function. In fact, I just used one of the chapter examples. I wrote down some code in a notebook and then tried it on my computer, making sure all the colons were in the right places.

The program was just to take your birth month and birth day and add them together for a "secret number." The function was adding two numbers together.

Surprisingly, it started running no problem. The prompts came up. But when the answer showed up it was "716" which meant it was adding the numbers as strings instead of integers. So I went back and changed the line int(month) to month = (int)month, ran the program again, and got the answer I wanted, which was 23.

However, the program still didn't work the way I wanted it to because of the error messages. I had put in a try/except clause, but the program just kept going when I entered weird information, so it gave something like "Julyquit" as the final result. So I added quit() to the except clause and that stopped the program every time I entered something that couldn't be converted into an integer.

Overall, it was a good feeling to be able to use a function correctly. And even though I still had to do some debugging, I felt very knowledgeable to be able to think, "Ohhhh it didn't actually convert to an integer," or "I need an extra line of code here," instead of "OH NO HOW DID I SCREW IT UP?????"

Next week is loops, which I also know nothing about but hopefully I'll get the hang of it eventually.

This week's project--pick-up lines! Well, sorta...

Email from my boss be like:

I'm want to show how you have to use informal language if you want to be successful picking up women. Can you check the dialog?

Me:

As the woman I don't care how bad some guy's English is, if he's cute enough I'll speak Japanese!

(Actually thinking "WTF it's not like if your English is good enough people will be obligated to go out with you...this is so sexist.)

Boss:

Then I don't need to worry about my English.

(Pretty sure he's joking because it sounds like his humor.)

Me:

But some guys aren't so handsome and socially skilled so they might need some tips.

Later my coworker says to me:

"I read your very interesting exchange the boss, and he says he wants you to write some natural scenes for at a bar when you want to..."

Me: "Pick up women? Ehhh..."

Coworker: Hahaha, not exactly like that.

Me: And what about women? They need tips too!

Coworker: Like, at a bar, how to meet someone and say hi and ask for a date. A lot of Japanese are interested in this kind of English.

Me: Um...I don't have a lot of experience, but I'll try something.

Later, reading a bunch of articles on Dr. Nerdlove, writing several dialogs. Send them to boss and coworker.

Coworker: The boss read your dialogs and thinks they're good! They're very natural and not at all creepy! Can you write some more?

Me: OK....

(I'm thinking, "How did I become the expert???")

Earring Skills

When it comes to doing new things to my body, I only have two modes. "OMG I can't figure this out," and "This is so incredibly easy."

Six months ago I got my ears pierced for the first time and it felt so weird. The idea of actually touching the holes was like "Ick no!" Then the openings got infected and I had to take the stud out (which was not fun when the skin was swelling up around the metal). When I tried to put new earrings in a day later the holes had closed up and getting anything through was impossible. There was blood and puss. I had to go back to the pierce shop and have the holes widened so overall I felt like a failure.

So I wore the same studs for a while, and when the skin started getting red last month I took them out BEFORE things got really bad. After the last incident I had bought plastic earrings as backup and I decided I might as well try putting those in by myself. This time I tried right after removing the studs so that the holes would have ABSOLUTELY NO TIME to close on me.

Surprisingly it worked! Putting the back on was a bit touch and go because I couldn't see it, but pretty soon I got the hang of it. As my ear condition got better I tried other regular earrings and was able to use them with no problem.

However, I couldn't get the studs back in because you have to insert them from the back. I couldn't find the hole, and also the shaft of the stud was not rounded so it was much harder to slip in. Imagine trying to use a supersize tampon with no applicator. Yeah...

Essentially, the kind you buy at Claire's looks like a thin rod with a holder you stick on the back. The kind I got originally is like a thin metal tube and you stick a thinner rod (with the jewel) into that. 

I was a bit worried that the holes might close with either thinner piercings or just plastic, so I went back to the pierce shop today. The guy said not to worry because the plain plastic ones I had been using were the same width as the original studs. He also showed me how to insert the studs by first using a regular thinner earring and then sticking the open part of the stud onto the end of that and drawing the whole thing back through the ear. I don't know why I couldn't figure that out before.

Although the guy had special tools for it at the shop, he seemed to think I would be able to do it at home, so I gave it a try. Amazingly, it worked! With just a little bit of guidance, the stud went smoothly through my ear even from the back. Now I can put them on any time as long as I have a thinner earring to use to start with.

That's how I became an expert in putting on earrings. Now I have confidence that I can take care of my piercing in most situations whether it's changing the earrings or caring for redness and swelling. The next mission is to learn how to wear dangly earrings!

Even though it's only recently that I've been able to actually change the style, I've had a lot of fun trying different accessories. It's so much more comfortable that then clip-on kind. I never liked the feeling of something pinching my ear. It's like the difference between using a tampon and using a pad. One seems more icky but you don't notice it at all, while the other you're always aware of.

Looking forward to more adventures in the future!

My First Live Show in Hiroshima (or like ever...)

On Saturday I did something pretty unusual for me and went to a Japanese metal show. Here are some pictures I took:




 

 Mostly, I remember it being pretty LOUD. It was a pretty small venue as you can see from the pictures. We just had to pay 1,000 yen to get in and another 500 yen for a drink ticket. The guests ranged from high school age to 40s. Some people were punked out in leather jackets and a lot of camouflage and other people were dressed in normal clothes. (Like me. I had no idea what to wear so just decided not to bother.)

The most amusing was to see these 15-17 year old high school boys hanging out. (Usually up at the railing.) I just kept imagining that this place must seem so rebellious and cool to them and they were so cute and dorky. There's smoking and drinking! People in weird costumes screeching!

Never having been to a concert before, much less death metal, I was kind of taken aback when people started running around in the center of the floor pushing each other. (Including the person I came with.) Some of the younger boys took their shirts off. There was also one punk teenage girl who ran around, although she kept all her clothes. I think that's a circle pit? They seemed to be having fun, though. I just didn't get it.

After about two hours my ears were hurting so I waited a bit in the entryway where the music was just a dull roar instead of an earsplitting one. Overall it was pretty unique but I felt unexpectedly tired afterward. Still I got to see people in weird masks and guys with really long hair swinging it around as they played guitar.